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2011 [Jan. 26th, 2011|09:15 pm]
[Current Mood |accomplishedaccomplished]

I am, in fact, still alive. Fret not, LJ-land.

Long update on life and st00f...Collapse )
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Funeral Etiquette [Jul. 21st, 2010|08:13 pm]
So I had my cousin Reggie's wake and funeral the last two days, and while it was upsetting, it was not what you think. Sure, I was sad, but I left both generally irritated and ticked off by people.

The turn out for the wake and funeral was incredible, first off. Hundreds upon hundreds of people flooded the Burns Funeral Home in Billerica, so much that the Funeral Home was full and we had all spilled out into the parking lot and sidewalk. While there was a lot of family there, both from the MacDonald side and the Lorbes side, he did have a lot of locals and friends show up in astounding numbers. But the more I listened to them, the more it sounded like a popularity appearance for some of these people.

One of Reggie's better friends said it best. "Wow, nice to see that some of the people who met Reggie through a friend one time in their life came down to make an appearance and force out a tear or two." At first, I thought, "Wow, that was cold," but the more I listened to these people, I was saddened that it was true.

My darling Nikki said to me today, "Well, that's what happens when a young person dies." And while I agreed for a moment, I was reminded of my cousin Mike DiGiantomasso's wake and funeral a few years back (he was 25). His wake and funeral were also large, but I did not have that same feeling of irritation from the attendees. The mood was very somber and people didn't seem like they were there to chit-chat or gossip. Maybe I wasn't as aware of it back then, but this is the general feeling I had.

Outside the funeral home, I was informed by my cousins that there was a girl there supposedly had a letter from Reggie from right before he died. They were not entirely sure as to what the contents were, but she was raising hell for a bit in the funeral home (before I showed up) by confronting family members with it (mostly the Lorbes side) and pissing people off. Good thing I wasn't there. I'd be in jail for throwing a bitch into traffic. I don't care what was in the letter - right, wrong, what have you. There's a time and place for that shit, and it is NOT at a wake/funeral. No excuse.

Anyway, the wake was a large gathering of Billerica's finest gossip-slingers and people who seemed to have the "Oo! A wake! A perfect place to dress like a common street whore and show off my tits and tattoos!"

The funeral was this morning, also in Billerica. I was angry at my darling girlfriend for a little bit for making me late, but that would pass. I was just in an irritable spitfire mood as it was. But I was glad to see that we did not miss much of the morning mass. So, politely, we walked into the church and took a seat in one of the pews far in the back and off to the side so as not to disrupt anything.

Apparently, we were a couple of the only conscientious ones to show up during the mass. Dozens of people were later than us, some of them even striding right down the center aisle - dressed like assholes, hobos, and whores - while the priest is in the middle of talking. All the while, they are chit-chatting amongst themselves and being the over-dramatic attention-whoring douchebags I had come to expect from the wake. Now, I am NOT saying that these people were not legitimately saddened. Reggie touched a lot of people. What I AM saying is that they are fucking assholes with no sense of courtesy whatsoever.

The mass continues, more whores and douchebags trickling in as they go. Now, I know not all of you may have a Christian-background. I even forget most of my casually-Catholic upbringing, but I am somewhat accustomed to the Catholic calisthenics of "sit, kneel, stand, sit, stand". Also, when the "padded kneeling bar" is down on the floor for you to kneel on and you put it back? Don't just flip it up with your foot and let it crash into the woodwork you stupid bastards! How rude! The priest is trying to talk about the mysteries of suicide and the frailties of the human psyche when at our lowest points in our life, and these fuckheads are just flipping up the kneeling pads like they were scoring a goal for the World fucking Cup.

I never wanted to haul off and punch so many people in my life save for some later-year WPI parties at Noah's place. But, I knew better because I know that all of the friends would band together and choke me out with their collective stink of perfumes and colognes and probably stab me with used needles from some of their heroin addictions.

Oh yeah, as an aside: Friends don't let friends shoot up heroin. Of course, that is assuming that the friends aren't shooting up heroin themselves. Some people will say "Well, it was his (Reggie's) choice." And to those people I will say, "After you pick your teeth up off of the ground, I will have you know that a little encouragement never hurt. Now go away before you bleed on me." Heroin's a fucking killer. And before some of you spout off how cigarettes are more addictive and shit like that - fuck you. Cigarettes didn't help lead to the death of my cousin. If all of these so-called friends of Reg had half a fucking brain cell, at least a few of them in the masses should have at least had the talk with him and said, "Hey, cut the shit, asshole. You're fucking your shit up." But, that wouldn't have been a trendy, popular thing, now would it?

One girl was at the church with a strapless dress on. Her tits were practically falling out of the fucking thing and the bottom of her skirt barely covered the bottom of her ass cheeks. Really? I mean, really?! At a fucking church? Or anywhere in public for that matter? Well, I hope her stripping career is going well (which, of course, generally means displaying the goods before doing side-deals to suck cock and fuck for money).

There was another girl who sat a few pews in front of me. I believe she was with her mom. She appeared to be in dire need of attention though. Every time she managed to squeeze out a tear, she seemed to look around as though to try to get people's attention. It was as if to say, "See? I'm sad too. Can you see me? Look at me. I'm crying. I'm as cool as the rest of you in the Hobo-Asshole-Whore Collective." One of Reggie's cousins on his mom's side of the family sniffed out a box of tissues nearby and, very politely and quietly, walked around the back of the congregation and over to the side where the box of tissues were, gently pulled out three tissues, and headed back to his seat via the same route. He was probably doing it for his wife or, God forbid, Reggie's mom Cherry.

Once that was done, then it was the "I am sad too" fucking Olympics. Trashily-dressed Street Whore #23 click-clacked her way up to the tissues, ripping out 10-12 tissues as she went, and made sure to let out a Hollywood sob as she walked back. Of course, I don't imagine there were any tears - wouldn't want to ruin that heavily-caked on mascara job after all!

Nearly right after that, Attention Whore #2 sitting in front of us made sure to get people's attention as she hunted down the tissue box, pulling out tissue after tissue like it was a fucking magician pulling the tied-together colored handkerchiefs out of their sleeve. In between burying her face into the tissues and displaying her Fifth-Grade Musical acting, she made sure to smile and wave "hi" to six or so people before sitting down with her mom to continue squeaking out another tear or two.

What I'm saying is this - be respectful. I'm not saying to abide by all of the church rules or anything like that. But abide by common sense, you fuckwits. When people go up for communion to eat some Jeez-its - DON'T stand in the fucking aisle for your little gossip groups or pow-wow with your douchebag friends to have group hugs. DON'T hold up the lines with your little hug therapy sessions when people are leaving the church and trying to thank the priest for his surprisingly-touching and empathic sermon. And for the love of God, don't you dare cut me the fuck off in the parking lot so you can drive like a complete asshole with crowds of old people and children around. (I remember you, you beat up Toyota Camry and the tattoo-covered asshole driving it. I'll fucking run you off the road the next time I see you.)

And through all of this - my family was respectful, courteous, and altogether sane. Even my cousin Danny. ;)
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(no subject) [Apr. 22nd, 2010|03:34 pm]
OK football fans. I have articles up on my top 5 picks by position for tonight's NFL Draft. Go to the website, have a read, make some comments, etc. You know you want to!

Another blatant plug!
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Gridiron Jack [Apr. 20th, 2010|08:18 pm]
I know I don't post here much anymore with the evils of Facebook out there taking up most of my time. But I also have a new Blogspot blog for my 2010 football blog:

Starting on Thursday, there will be a bunch of pre-Draft articles, reviews, and hopefully some home-brewed videos/slideshows for us all to watch and laugh at.

[/blatant advert]
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(no subject) [Oct. 7th, 2009|07:59 pm]
Long time, no post Flist o' Flistiness.

For the record: some of ya'll are F'n crazy.
That is all. Carry on.
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(no subject) [May. 5th, 2009|07:30 pm]
Hey qedrakmar.
The deaths of Bea Arthur and Dom DeLuise got me thinking...

Abe Vigoda is still alive.
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(no subject) [Apr. 21st, 2009|08:18 pm]
Some of you are really cool, some of you are batshit insane, and some of you are a little of both.

Now break up into groups so we can do some group exercises, k?
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(no subject) [Feb. 5th, 2009|12:08 pm]
LinkImpress Me

Cool... [Aug. 27th, 2008|01:58 pm]
Pulp Cthulhu
Reckless Adventures in the 1930's Call of Cthulhu RPG for Fall 2008.
Reckless Adventures in the 1930's

CHA 23107
192 pages
ISBN 1-56882-250-2
8.5 X 11 Inch Trade Paperback
Sourcebook for Call of Cthulhu

Pulp Cthulhu: Reckless Adventures in the 1930's jumps into the decade of pulp adventure! Enter a time when the world changes. Economic despair brings a nation low, while an eldritch shift in the fabric of reality unleashes dark horrors, and tempts heroes. Join in as secret societies and occult leagues battle against horrific creatures in a timeless struggle for existence.

Pulp Cthulhu expands upon the [Call of Cthulhu] setting and rules system, allowing for fast-paced, cinematic game play. It provides rules for insane scientists, reanimators, mentalists, gadgeteers, professor-sorcerers, supernatural detectives and much more. Tune the level of pulp to suit play, or simply add pulp to an existing [Call of Cthulhu] campaign. Get into the fight! Battle cosmic horrors for the future of the humanity.
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(no subject) [Jun. 23rd, 2008|08:19 am]
[Current Mood |sadsad]

R.I.P. George Carlin

Man, that TOTALLY bums me out. :(
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(no subject) [Jun. 5th, 2008|01:17 am]
This may be the coolest music video ever. Ever.
Weezer - "Pork & Beans"

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(no subject) [May. 30th, 2008|09:25 am]
Hedy... that's Hedley... LaMarr is dead!

Harvey Korman (1927-2008)

O' Harvey Korman, you really were the biggest star in Blazing Saddles.
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(no subject) [May. 15th, 2008|02:20 pm]
This made me giggle.Collapse )
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(no subject) [Apr. 26th, 2008|04:51 pm]
I am such an NFL Draft Day Nerd.
That is all.

*continues watching TV*
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(no subject) [Mar. 4th, 2008|04:10 pm]
R.I.P. Gary Gygax

If you have to ask who, then it doesn't concern you. =P

(Edit: Changed link to actual news story)
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(no subject) [Mar. 3rd, 2008|08:18 am]

Jeff Healey has died.

Boo. There goes another high school memory.
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(no subject) [Feb. 6th, 2008|11:57 pm]
Even though I can breathe, with little difficulty, through both my nose and mouth, this flu has somehow robbed me of my sense of smell AND my sense of taste. A few hours ago I sat down to a bowl of cereal. Now this isn't bland cereal by any means - it's Apple Jacks with Vanilla Soy Milk. Last I checked, that stuff had taste. Not tonight.

So, in a bit of a curious mood, I decided "Well, what happens when I do this?" So I took a swig of Tabasco. Well, nothing. I mean it burned a little, but I couldn't taste a damn thing. I popped a "Icy Blue" cough drop in my mouth. And while I have the cooling effect in my mouth, I did not taste a damn thing.

This is bumming me out.

Also, now that I have had a ton of tea and Thera-Flu stuff over the last couple of days, I have come to one conclusion - I hate hot beverages. Warm beverages are fine, because you can actually drink the fucking things. But hot beverages? Meh. And I'm not patient enough to sit there and sip at them. If I want a drink, be it cold or warm, I want to be able to let it pour down my gullet without the risk of 3rd degree burns. I don't want to sip, I want to drink.

That's why you'll never see me with an alcoholic beverage meant to be sipped. Sure, I may try a sip of good scotch to get a feel for the beast before throwing it back and letting it colonize my belly with its warm embrace, but that's the only exception.
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(no subject) [Jan. 31st, 2008|12:16 pm]
Call me closed-minded.

Call me stupid.

But I can't help but laugh when I hear a gay man say, "I love fruit-on-the-bottom yogurt!"
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I CAN HAS PLAGUE? [Jan. 26th, 2008|01:02 pm]
Once again, I have contracted the plague.
Lock up your homes and put on your breathing masks.
I am infectious, contagious, and altogether ill.
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(no subject) [Jan. 19th, 2008|11:33 am]
Cloverfield... go see it. It was like Blair Witch, only it didn't suck. In fact, it rocked.
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(no subject) [Jan. 8th, 2008|01:51 am]
My roommate has a kick-ass dartboard. It is electronic in that it tells you what you hit and keeps score for you. You can program in which game you want to play (Cricket, 301, etc...) and it sets it up for 1 to 4 players. (Yes, you can play 1 player against the computer's randomness).

In any case, my roommate thinks he is God's gift to dart-playing (and also God's gift to women, oral sex, football knowledge, money, etc.) Anyway, he drags me down to the weight room in the house to play darts.

How satisfying was it that I beat him three games to none? Heh. And no, I do not play darts regularly like he used to. I was just lucky and have good hand-eye coordination.
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(no subject) [Dec. 30th, 2007|01:05 am]
And even though Rodney Harrison played like absolute horseshit all game, the Pats still pull through for the perfect 16-0 regular season record. Also, Brady sets the season record for TD passes with 50, and Moss sets the season record for TD receptions with 23. Also, the 2007 Patriots are the highest scoring team ever in NFL history.

But I still can't get the images of Rodney Harrison missing almost all of his tackles and getting a Personal Foul penalty late in the game out of my head. If I were Belicheck, I would have sent him to the locker room before the end of the game. What a douchenozzle.
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(no subject) [Nov. 12th, 2007|04:00 pm]
The voice of lucasthegray made me do this:

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Asscience [Nov. 4th, 2007|02:44 pm]
(Kielbasa) + (Roommate's Infamous Digestive System) = (Most concentrated form of EVIL known to exist)
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(no subject) [Oct. 31st, 2007|11:39 pm]
To the person, who just 20 minutes ago, drove by my house at Mach 2, whipped a pumpkin at my parked truck, denting my hood and fender and ripping off one of my windshield wipers... I would like to find you and fucking kill you.

Fucking pricks. I hate this fucking house. And I hate this fucking town. Can't. Wait. To Move.
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(no subject) [Oct. 23rd, 2007|09:25 pm]
Happy birthday to you, Mr. the_real_troll.

In commemoration of your day of birth, I shall wrestle a fudgesicle into submission.
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(no subject) [Oct. 22nd, 2007|01:08 am]
...and the Red Sox have made it to the World Series.
Could this be like 2004 all over again? Red Sox and Patriot championships? Hell, maybe even a Celtics one the way it looks. (Bruins? What Bruins?)
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(no subject) [Oct. 21st, 2007|05:17 pm]
Brady throws 5 TD passes in the first half of the game, and ends the game with 6 TD's and a perfect 158.3 QB rating. Fucking amazing.

Also, a record was broken today in football as Rob Bironas kicked EIGHT field goals for the Tennessee Titans, ruining Houston's 29-point comeback in the 4th quarter. A heartbreaker for the Texans, but EIGHT field goals is rigoddamndiculous.

Also, Randy Moss is God.
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(no subject) [Oct. 19th, 2007|03:38 pm]
I thought it would have been cool if the Willy Wonka character was diabetic.
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Randymania! [Sep. 23rd, 2007|05:51 pm]

Get used to this celebratory strut, NFL. Get used to it.
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(no subject) [Sep. 11th, 2007|03:46 pm]
NSFW Language. NSFSanity dialogue.

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(no subject) [Sep. 9th, 2007|04:10 pm]
Tom Brady to Randy Moss... that shit will never get old! Woo!
Brady was 22 of 28 passing, 297 yards, and 3 TD passes.
Randy Moss made 9 catches for 183 yards and a TD catch.

Welcome to New England, Mr. Moss. Hope you enjoy your success here.

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(no subject) [Sep. 9th, 2007|01:04 am]
First Van Halen, and now Led Zeppelin's re-uniting (well, 3/4th anyway)? That's so fucked up.
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(no subject) [Sep. 6th, 2007|05:29 pm]
My dogs tore apart a big, fat skunk last night.
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(no subject) [Feb. 2nd, 2007|09:49 am]
I love Rodent Meteorology.

Happy Groundhog Day everyone.
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(no subject) [Jan. 22nd, 2007|05:28 am]
Well, with the way our defense played and our defensive coordinator was calling plays, the Patriots deserved to lose. Whose idea was it to have our cornerbacks play ten yards off of the line of scrimmage and let the receivers have short routes 'til Kingdom Come? Whose idea was it to continue using a three-man line when the Colts were inside our 5-yard line? It looked foolish the way Addai strided into the end zone since our linebackers were manhandled by the Colts' O-Line (as they should have been, being linebackers and not linemen).

We really need to rethink our defensive schemes. This is basic "Defense 101" shit.

To his credit, Peyton Manning played a hell of a game and Joseph Addai looked sharp. Some of Manning's off-balance passes were downright miraculous. (It pains me to compliment him.)

Ah well... Bears vs. Colts. There's a Super Bowl I couldn't give two shits about.
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(no subject) [Jan. 14th, 2007|08:30 pm]
So, it seems that LaDainian Tomlinson was quite the sore loser after his San Diego Chargers lost to the New England Patriots. He decided that he wanted to go start shit with some of the celebrating Pats because... well... he's a sore loser.

What do I have to say to that?

Talk to the hand, bitch!Collapse )
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(no subject) [Oct. 5th, 2006|04:52 pm]
Great quote from today by some random old dude:
"I eat healthy... to a point; to the point where I fucking can't stand eating healthy anymore."
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(no subject) [Oct. 2nd, 2006|11:16 am]
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(no subject) [Sep. 29th, 2006|08:57 am]

And Tony Stark shall be... Robert Downey, Jr.
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(no subject) [Sep. 25th, 2006|01:54 am]
So here I am, moved back to Wakefield. And there I was, trying to sleep in my old bed. I shift and I turn, as to be expected with new/old sleeping accommodations. Then, ouchie... as I try to push myself over with my leg, my whole right hamstring tightens up bad. So I go from Sleepy Mac, to Wide-the-fuck-Awake-Ouchie Mac.

And I have to get up in 4 hours. Fuck you, hamstring.

And fuck you, Patriots. Why is Denver your kryptonite?
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(no subject) [Sep. 23rd, 2006|07:30 pm]
Columbo could have figured this shit out... dumbass!
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(no subject) [Sep. 21st, 2006|08:43 pm]
Hey qedrakmar!



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Day Off, Dreams, and the Great Devourer [Sep. 18th, 2006|02:15 pm]
Day off. Woohoo. Long weekend. Woohoo.

Ahem, anyway... strange dream I had:

I was riding down a ridiculously long highway in the desert - Route 66 style. Then, I blow a tire in my old '67 GTO (hey, it's a dream!). So I pull into the parking lot of a diner in the middle of nowhere and begin to change my tire. There I am, changing my tire, when a pickup truck pulls into the spot next to me; the only problem being that he was too close and ran over my foot and ankle.

Now this is where it gets weird...

So, in a fit of rage, I flip over the pickup truck, scoop up two rattlesnakes off the ground, tie their tails together, and start going apeshit on the driver and his nine passengers (dressed like redneck ninjas) with my new pair of venomous rattlechucks. I then grew to a ridiculous size (think of Apache Chief) and started using a pair of tractor trailers as roller skates and skated all the way to Alaska where I was doing X-Games freestyle in-line skating tricks using big igloos as ramps and the rib cage of a rotted whale carcass as a half pipe.

The dream gets a little fuzzy for a while, but then my dream involves me eating a sandwich at a picnic in some random grassy park with three bodybuilder dudes and nine or ten naked women - none of whom I recognize. And, of course, I am naked in the park too. Then, somehow, the sky goes dark and the whole dream turns out into some fucking twisted scene from the Hellraiser series where chains and hooks are shooting out of trees and shit and ripping people apart - all bloody and gory and stuff. Myself? I was never touched. In fact, clothes magically appeared on me, and I hopped into my trusty '67 GTO and started driving. I drove and drove and drove, and my five-hour dream seemed to have a 22-hour soundtrack as I drove along until I reached the desert. So I really let the car open up and started screaming down the road at incredible speeds. Then I blew a tire and pulled into the parking lot of a diner in the middle of nowhere. As I got out of my car, holding my tire iron and jack, I saw two rattlesnakes on the ground.

The dream ended with me tying the two snakes' tails together and saying, "Better be prepared this time."

And to think that I am on no drugs whatsoever.

In other news, I have dubbed my dog Stewie as "Chstewlu the Great Devourer" because of his strange appetites. Aside from eating the usual dog stuff - dog food, milk bones, sticks - he also grazes like a cow eating half of the lawn in my old apartment in Wakefield (which I am soon to be occupying again). Just yesterday when I was here with the dogs, Stew has a bee flying around his head. So what does he do? He snaps in the air and eats it! Then he does the same thing with a fly no more than a minute later!
It's one of those instances where, if I were tripping on acid, that I would imagine Stewie's head turning into a big PacMan.

Fucking weird dog. I wonder if he has dreams like I do... because that would explain a lot.
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(no subject) [Sep. 14th, 2006|08:25 pm]
Someone called my cellphone.
I heard a bunch of garble, then "get together some..." and then more garble.
The voice was male.
My phone declined to do the whole "this number called you" thing.

Oooo... a mystery!
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(no subject) [Aug. 27th, 2006|04:05 pm]
I like my friends, I really do.
But God damn some of 'em are so F'n stupid.
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(no subject) [Aug. 25th, 2006|04:33 pm]
Looking for My Leopard
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I am a Train Track [Aug. 21st, 2006|10:52 pm]
I am a train track in the subway.
I take you places, yet I go nowhere.
It's dark and damp where I live.
Please don't put your baby on me.
Sometimes I see a quarter,
But I can't do a damn thing about it.
The train is coming! The train is coming!
OW! Oh shit! OW! Fuck!
This sucks!
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(no subject) [Aug. 14th, 2006|07:56 pm]
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Tagged by thghtlesswords [Aug. 3rd, 2006|08:55 pm]
Once you've been tagged, you have to write a blog entry with six random facts about yourself. In the end you need to choose six people to be tagged and list their names.

1.) Temperatures over 90 degrees make me irritable to the point of wanting to bite someone's head off. For some reason, this did not apply in Arizona.
2.) I have scars on my arms from knives, dogs, cysts (for those of you who are familiar with my famous "Mac's Home Surgery" sessions), burns, and sulfuric acid. I learned the hard way that sulfuric acid should be added to water, not vice versa.
3.) I have a nasty habit... I am a chronic nail-biter.
4.) I almost always never punch, kick, or strike anyone in a fight. I usually bend them in a way that makes them not want to fight. Though there was the poor guy at the Pats exhibition game a few years ago who was on the receiving end of a crunchy headbutt.
5.) I think I am one of the few people that I know that doesn't like Chappelle's Show.
6.) After having gone through the cancer thing, I now like some foods that I previously did not - broccoli, spinach, tomatoes, and relish. However, shrimp makes me nauseous now and lobster makes a bit queasy.

I shall tag...
- bonisagus
- etherial
- twowishesleft
- luckyducky82
- harley
- fphcom

Tag. You're it.
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